You Almost Got Kerneled!
by lilwoodb
Summary: This story is based on dream I had and thought good enough to turn into fanfiction. Marcia, Milo, Marcellus, Miarr, and a few others go on a trip to restore the CattRokk Lights. What Marcia doesn't know is that one of Milo's crewmembers is a Darke wizard in disguise, and is set on revenge... [The title is a reference to a quote from the end of the dream. Stand-alone story]
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"_Septimus!_" Marcia called up the stairway. "Breakfast is _on the table!_ What's _taking_ you so long?"

"I'll be right there!" came the reply. "Just give me a second!"

The ExtraOrdinary Wizard rolled her eyes and strode briskly back into the kitchen. At her reentrance the kitchen table immediately straightened up, while the stove and coffee maker shrank into the shadows, suddenly fearful that they might still be needed. They weren't, of course, but Marcia still noticed their futile attempts to hide.

"Why are you two slouching?" she demanded in annoyance.

Somewhat relieved, the stove and coffee pot jumped to attention. But Marcia had moved over to the table by that point. Impatient, she straightened the silverware and added more coffee to the mugs, then dished out the food to both plates when Septimus still wouldn't come. When that was done, she almost gave in and started eating, but just as she was sitting down the ExtraOrdinary Apprentice dashed in with a hurried greeting of, "Morning, Marcia."

"Ah, there you are! What took you so long—oh!" She stared at her Apprentice in surprise, whose reason for being late became evident when Marcia saw how well-groomed he looked. He had on his brightest-green tunic, free of wrinkles or stains, and his face was immaculately scrubbed. His blonde hair had been meticulously combed to the extent that it shone in the morning light, and the wild curls actually lay flat for once. Even his nails were clipped.

Marcia hid a smile. "Wow, Septimus. You look...good."

"Gee, thanks," Septimus replied, blushing slightly.

"Are you really that excited for today?" Marcia went on, raising an eyebrow.

Septimus looked confused. "Of course," he said, pulling out his chair to sit down. "I've been looking forward to this day for a whole month now."

Marcia chuckled as she stirred her oatmeal. "I suppose you have a point. It's not everyday one gets a chance to visit—and repair, in this case—all four of the original CattRokk **Lights**—"

"GLURG!" Septimus choked on his coffee. He turned aside as he was ridden with a hacking fit, then looked back up at Marcia, wide-eyed with shock. "That's _today?!_ I thought we were leaving for the lighthouses _tomorrow!_"

Now it was Marcia's turn to look confused. "Er, no. The date was set three weeks ago for today and tomorrow." Then something occurred to her. "Why is that a problem? You didn't have anything else planned for today, did you?"

Septimus nodded miserably. "Uh-huh," he mumbled. "I'm taking Rose out to the Little Theater tonight."

"Oh. Right." Marcia's shoulders slumped. She remembered her Apprentice, bursting with excitement, telling her about this just days before Milo and Marcellus had agreed on a date for visiting the lighthouses. Since she had a soft spot for Rose, Marcia had said that Septimus could have the afternoon and evening off, in order to spend time with his girlfriend. But she didn't realize that that day was today.

Marcia sighed. _Septimus_ is_ a Senior Apprentice,_ she mused while she ate, _and you did permit him to have the afternoon and evening off. But he's also supposed to be there to help! It's expected! Then again...will he really be needed? After all, between Marcellus, Lucy, and me, we should have the repair work covered. Besides,_ she thought with a rueful smile as she admitted this to herself,_ I certainly wouldn't want to be deprived of my chance to see Milo, any more than he wants to miss being with Rose. And his date _was_ arranged first..._ "It's alright, Septimus," she finally said aloud. "I suppose you can stay here."

The Apprentice perked up instantly. "Really? Are you sure you'll get on without me?"

"I'm sure," Marcia said, standing up to deposit her dishes in the sink. "Just don't forget to tidy the Pyramid Library, as usual."

Septimus jumped up and hugged her. "Thanks so much, Marcia!" he said happily.

Marcia smiled. "You're welcome. Now run along," she said briskly. "You and I both have duties to attend to, after all."

Caught up in a fervor, Septimus neglected his dishes as he darted towards the stairwell. Normally Marcia would have been annoyed with her Apprentice's carelessness, but right now she didn't feel like dampening his spirits. _So, Septimus,_ she reflected as she cleared the table, _you will be with someone you love today, and so will I. Hope you two enjoy yourselves._ The table cleared, Marcia hurried out of the kitchen and, after a cursory inspection of the living room, through the front door.

**A/N I know there's nothing interesting yet, but four more chapters are forthcoming, so please R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Half an hour later, Marcia strode briskly into Jannit Maarten's boatyard, where Nicko had a small boat moored that would take the group to the Port. Waiting with Nicko were Jenna and Beetle, who, due to their positions as Queen and Chief Hermetic Scribe were both needed to supervise the work (along with Marcia as ExtraOrdinary Wizard, although she would also be helping with the repairs). The two teens were sitting on the edge of the docks, deep in conversation, and Marcia actually broke out grinning when she noticed that they were holding hands. _Looks like Septimus and I aren't the only ones who will be spending time with our sweethearts today._ Embarrassed by the thought, Marcia pushed it out of her mind and hurried over to the boat.

"Ah, good morning, Jenna, Beetle," Marcia greeted the couple.

The teens broke off their chatter and turned around. "Morning, Madam Marcia," Beetle replied, nodding politely.

Jenna didn't return the greeting. "Where's Sep?" she asked, her brow furrowed with a pointed look at Marcia. "He was supposed to be here, too."

_Trust Jenna to question me,_ Marcia thought wryly, only slightly irritated. "Septimus is back at the Wizard Tower. We discovered this morning that he had already scheduled—well, a date, of sorts. With Rose, the Sick Bay Apprentice. So I allowed him the day off."

"Really," said an intrigued Beetle, smiling broadly. "Glad you let him off the hook, then. I've been telling Sep that he needs to spend more time with Rose."

Jenna sighed, clearly disappointed that her brother couldn't come. "Yes, I suppose he does."

Marcia was saved from deciding how to respond by a cry from Nicko. "Here come Simon and Marcellus!"

Sure enough, there was the Castle Alchemist and his Apprentice. Both men had large burlap bags slung over their shoulders, which looked bulky and unwieldy, and the two were visibly relieved to be able to set them down in the boat. Lucy had also come along in spite of her pregnancy, as Marcellus thought her architectural talent would come in handy.

"What's all that?" Jenna asked, staring.

"Good morning to you, too," Simon remarked. He then had to jump aside to avoid a playful shove.

"That, my dear Queen," answered Marcellus, "is two bags full of the tools and supplies we will be using in our work today. Rope, chisels, trowels, mortar, and the boxes that contain the Embers of the Alchemie Fyre."

Jenna nodded slowly. "I remember the Fyre," she said, "but what's all the rest for, again?"

"It's because two of the lighthouses have fallen into disrepair," Lucy reminded her, "and we'll need to fix them up."

The mention of the Fyre made Marcia remember something. "Marcellus, where are the three Rounded Mirrors?" she asked pointedly. "They are rather important for reflecting your Embers, in the absence of the other three **Spheres of Light**."

Marcellus chuckled at her sarcasm. "Not to worry, Marcia. Simon and I brought them down here last night, and Nicko here sailed them down to the Port already, so they'll be waiting for us when we arrive." Nicko yawned as if to prove this point.

"Speaking of the Port," Beetle cut in, "shouldn't we be going? This is going to take all of two days and nights, after all."

"The young man is right," Marcellus said. "Everyone is now here—"

"Except Sep," Jenna muttered.

"—and there's no time to lose!" At his words the group began to climb into the boat. Marcia's stomach did a flip, but she gritted her teeth and ignored it. _Get ahold of yourself, Marcia. You're going to be out on the water for the better part of these next two days, so you might as well get used to it._

* * *

Xulifer Sett stood atop the crow's nest of the _Cerys_, idly tossing his **Darke Eyeglass** from hand to hand. It was nearly noon, and Milo Banda's ship had only just set sail twenty minutes ago, so there wouldn't be much to do for awhile yet. Most of the crew and passengers were having lunch at this time, but Xulifer couldn't leave his post, of course, even if he'd wanted to. There was no reason to risk Milo's faith in him just yet.

As he set the **Eyeglass** down and bit into the cheese sandwich he'd brought up, Xulifer reflected on the events of the past three weeks. So far, everything had been going according to plan. When word got around that an expedition was being planned to restore the four original CattRokk Lights, Xulifer's Master had looked into the matter to see if the ExtraOrdinary Wizard was involved. She was, of course, and Master set the wheels in motion. The next day, Xulifer had applied as a crewmember on the _Cerys_. It wasn't terribly difficult. The twenty-year-old possessed a natural charm about him: he was tall and lanky, but also very strong and robust. His sharply angled features were suntanned, suggesting that he was used to working in the outdoors, which he was. He had a fine crop of shaggy brown hair that Xulifer had streaked with blonde, to give himself a roguish appearance that had attracted many girls in the past. All of this, combined with a little influence from **Darke Magyk**, had won Milo over instantly, and he was hired.

Between then and now, Xulifer had proven his "loyalty" again and again to Milo Banda by being punctual to all of his duties, volunteering for jobs that no other crewmember wanted, and by throwing in the occasional flattering compliment. He had even helped load those gigantic Rounded Mirrors onto the ship the previous night without uttering a single complaint about losing sleep. This had impressed Milo greatly, confirming Xulifer's position as one of the captain's favorites.

But today was when all of his patient waiting finally began to pay off. It was the start of the expedition, and Xulifer had eagerly watched for the arrival of the ExtraOrdinary Wizard. Just before eleven o'clock, a small boat sailed up against the _Cerys_, and its passengers were welcomed aboard. There was the Queen with the Chief Hermetic Scribe (nearly every Castle resident knew about the romance by now), followed by that dorky-looking Alchemist and his Apprentice. (Xulifer couldn't hold back a tut at Simon Heap's decision to turn his back on the **Other** Side. That man had had so much potential.) Then came that sailer Heap boy, and finally—yes, there she was—Madam Marcia Overstrand herself. Xulifer chuckled inwardly at her unsteadiness, and the green hue her face had taken on was priceless. It became even more comical when Marcia tried and failed to disguise her nausea from Milo Banda (nearly everyone knew of _that_ romance, too). _So the ExtraOrdinary Wizard isn't as all-powerful as she makes herself out to be,_ he had mused. _Her seasickness, combined with the fatigue she'll have accumulated by tomorrow night, should make my job simple._ Even better, it appeared that the ExtraOrdinary Apprentice hadn't been able to make it, which meant that there would be no **Magykally**-competent person to oppose him.

Xulifer polished off the cheese sandwich and resumed toying with his **Darke Eyeglass** as his thoughts took a darker turn. _It's all because she had the Two-Faced Ring destroyed,_ he thought with a grimace. _Master was next in line for that Ring, and_ I _would've been after_ him!_ Finally, Marcia Overstrand will now pay for the crime she has committed._

"Mr. Sett!" a voice hollered from the main deck, jarring him out of his thoughts.

Xulifer peered over the edge. It was that sailer Heap boy, Nicko. "What do you need?" he called back impassively, disguising his annoyance.

"Captain Milo needs you on deck!" came the reply. "The Rounded Mirrors have slid out of their harness, and he wants your help!"

"Alright, I'm coming!" Xulifer swung his leg over the side and began scrambling down the rigging. Along the way, he allowed himself a smirk. It was a good sign of Milo's trust that he had sent for him from the crow's nest. This meant that no one suspected a thing.

_Oh, yes, Marcia. You will pay dearly for your crimes. You will pay...with your life._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After setting sail from the Port, the _Cerys_ traveled to the Isles of Syren; first to the Northeast lighthouse (now known as the Greater CattRokk **Light**) to pick up Miarr, who naturally knew the inner workings of the CattRokk lighthouses best. Upon arrival, the group discovered that Miarr had actually found himself a mate. After Skipper Fry and the **Syren** were gone, Miarr had learned of another race of **CatConnected** humans from the Eastern Snow Plains, and set out to meet them. He had returned with Miaow, a "pretty young feline," as he called her. Miaow was now expecting a litter, ensuring the preservation of the Catt family line. This also meant that there would be a new generation of Guardians to Watch not only the remaining CattRokk** Light**, but the other three as well. "That explains why you were so antsy about getting the lighthouses repaired," Beetle remarked after Miarr's explanation.

Once Miarr and Miaow were on board, the _Cerys_ traveled down to the Southeast lighthouse, where the repairs were to begin. Out of all four lighthouses, this one was in the worst condition by far. Even with the aid of **Magyk**, **Physik**, and Alchemie, it was past midnight before Miarr and Lucy deemed the lighthouse restored. Then one of the Rounded Mirrors had to be hauled up to the** Arena of Light** and positioned correctly, which took yet another long hour, even with the combined strength of Milo and Xulifer. By the time the plate-sized Fyre Ember had been placed on a pedestal in the center of the **Arena**, and the mirror reflected its glow out of the lighthouse's cat eyes ("It's not a true **Sphere of Light**, but it'll do just fine," as declared by Miarr), everyone was too tired to board the _Cerys_. So most just collapsed and slept where they were.

But dawn broke after a mere three hours of sleep, and it was time to move on. The group reluctantly shook themselves awake and set sail for the Southwest lighthouse. Luckily, this one needed nothing more than a few cracks filled, and the work for it was finished in under two hours. Nonetheless, as Xulifer had smugly predicted to himself the day before, everyone was growing weary by the time the _Cerys_ docked at the Northwest lighthouse that evening. This last lighthouse was also falling apart, but not quite as much as the Southeast lighthouse, which raised everyone's spirits somewhat (except for those of Marcia and Jenna, of course). The group was quite used to the routine of setting up the supplies by now, and proceeded with that quickly.

"Hey, Beet!" Simon called as he and Marcellus began unloading the burlap bags. "How much powdered mortar do we have left, again?"

Beetle pulled out a list he'd been using to keep track of supplies, clutching it tightly, as a strong breeze had built up. He squinted to read it in the fading light. "Er, about four and a half gallons full."

"Good," said Lucy, who was inspecting the stone fragments surrounding the crumbling outer walls. "That should be enough to patch things up out here, although I don't know about inside." She picked her way through the rubble to the lighthouse entrance and poked her head into the open door. "Hey, Miarr!" Lucy shouted up. "How's the stairwell holding up?"

"Everything's in excellent condition, miss—er, ma'am!" came the faint reply.

"Nothing needs fixing!" added another voice, presumably that of Miaow.

Lucy turned back to the others. "Excellent, then we shouldn't run out of mortar." She clapped her hands together. "Alright, everyone! It's about nine o'clock right now, so we should be able to finish by midnight. You all know the drill—let's get started!"

Quashing their fatigue, the group set to work. Nicko, Milo, and Xulifer each grabbed a pail and climbed down the rocks to fetch some seawater. When that was done, they helped Jenna and Beetle mix up the mortar. Meanwhile, the other four carried the tools inside the lighthouse and up to the** Arena of Light**. Once there, Marcia and Simon leaned out the windows and **Caused** some of the bricks to slide out a few inches, making footholds that stretched all the way around the lighthouse. Then Marcellus rigged up three rope harnesses, giving one to Lucy and the other two to Marcia and Simon. When they had strapped on the harnesses, Marcellus lowered them out one at a time.

"Mr. and Mrs. Catt!" he hollered over his shoulder as Simon rappelled down the side first. "I need your help, remember?"

There was a pattering sound, and the couple scrambled up the ladder into the** Arena**. "We're here, Marcellus," Miarr said helpfully.

"About time," Marcia muttered, unable to hold back a yawn.

Marcellus waved the comment away with his free hand. "No matter. Here, you two take Simon's rope." Then he took Lucy's rope and began lowering her gingerly out the same window, taking care not to harm her unborn baby. "Marcia," he said over his shoulder, "instead of having Nicko monitor your rope, this time why don't you go get that young man, Mr. Sett? He seems to be stronger, and he looks pretty trustworthy."

Marcia, too tired to object to being ordered around, didn't object. She leaned out the other window and yelled, "Mr. Sett! Bring up the first batch of mortar, you're needed!"

Three hundred and forty-three feet down, the young man saluted sharply and disappeared through the doorway. Marcia rolled her eyes at his audacity, but her mind lingered on the image of him below on the rocks. _There's something odd about that boy,_ she thought blearily._ Now if only I could figure out what..._

* * *

Xulifer Sett was in a chipper mood. He took the stairs two at a time, pleased with how he'd handled Marcellus Pye. The same** Darke Spell** that had worked on Milo Banda also influenced the Alchemist to send for him. This gave Xulifer the perfect opportunity to spring his trap on the ExtraOrdinary Wizard.

Upon his arrival in the **Arena of Light**, Marcia took the pail of mortar and handed Xulifer her rope, attached to one of three pulleys dangling from the ceiling. "Keep a firm grip on this," she said. "I'm going to climb all the way to the bottom and work my way back up, so don't let the rope go too taut or slack."

"Yes, Madam Marcia," Xulifer said brightly.

"Just Marcia will do," she insisted. Then, mortar and trowel in hand, she stepped out the window and out of sight.

As instructed, Xulifer let out enough rope for Marcia to get to the bottom until it didn't jerk anymore. Then he peered out the window to observe the purple speck below._ Not yet, Xulifer,_ he thought._ Not just yet. Wait until she comes back up, then you can drop her._ But there _was_ something he _could_ do to save time. He concentrated on the fibers of rope that made up Marcia's harness, and with just a touch of** Darke Magyk**, he **Caused** them to begin to fray. The harness would support the ExtraOrdinary Wizard for a while yet—but not when Xulifer Sett pounced.

* * *

Marcia pointed at a large fragment of wall far below her. "**Levitate**," she commanded it. The stone shook itself once, then rose slowly up. Marcia directed it to Simon on her right, who guided it into a niche in the wall. Then Lucy moved in with the trowel and slathered a glob of mortar all through the gaps, aided by the light of a full moon.

"Done!" she declared after a few minutes. "And I believe that's the last one, right, Si?"

"Let me check. Hey, Nik!" Simon yelled down to his brother. "Are there anymore large chunks down there?"

"Nope!" came the reply. "You got 'em all! Oh, and Milo and I are bringing up the Rounded Mirror now!"

"Excellent," said Marcia. "Simon, you should go up first. Nicko and Milo will need all the help—" a yawn escaped her here "—ooh, that they can get. I'll stay back to replace the bricks."

Simon nodded. "Okay, Miarr and Miaow! You can bring me up now." As Simon was pulled up through the window, Marcia **Caused** the bricks that they had been using as footholds to slide back into their proper places. When it was Lucy's turn to go up, Marcia did the same with the bricks that she had just stood on. There were now five bricks left, which likewise slid back into place as Marcia climbed up them, until only one remained that she could stand on.

"Are you ready, Mr. Sett?" she called up.

The young man poked his head out the window. "Yup, hold on tight!"

Marcia felt the rope jerk, and she grabbed it with both hands as she felt herself rise slowly upward, swaying slightly in the breeze. It wasn't long before the nagging feeling she'd had earlier returned. _What_ is_ it that I sense about Mr. Sett?_ Marcia wondered._ If only I wasn't so tired, maybe I could figure it out._ Suddenly she found herself face-to-face with the young man's piercing dark eyes._ Those eyes...black...black eyes...oh, my gosh, then that means..._Marcia gasped aloud.

Xulifer Sett tsked disapprovingly, a look of malice distorting his sharp features. "Tut, tut, Marcia. I would've thought an ExtraOrdinary Wizard might remember her **MindScreen**." And he reached down to grab her outstretched hand.

_Zzap!_ A burst of powerful **Darke Magyk** jolted through Marcia, stunning her completely. She didn't even feel her rope harness snap as the world fell away.

**A/N I just realized that I forgot to give the setting!_ Whoops!_ You all have probably figured it out by now, but it takes place in the early summer after Fyre.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jenna sighed in exasperation. "How much longer is this going to take?" she demanded.

Beetle checked his timepiece. "Well, it's fifteen minutes till midnight," he said calmly, trying to soothe her, "and Lucy _did_ say that we would be done before then, so it shouldn't be long." The Chief Hermetic Scribe squeezed the Queen's hand reassuringly. "Just hold on till then, Jenna."

"Alright, Beetle," Jenna said, pursing her lips. She resumed staring at the top of the lighthouse, waiting for the telltale beam of light to appear from the cat's eyes.

But what appeared instead was a flash of purple, streaking down towards the lighthouse's rocky base at an alarming speed. Jenna blinked. "Beetle, is that what I think—"

She never finished her sentence. For at that moment time seemed to slow down as several things happened almost at once. The purple flash hit the rocks with a sickening_ crunch_, then bounced downward and into the roiling ocean with a distinct _splash_. In the exact same instant at the top of the lighthouse, there was a shout, followed by a loud _crash_ and the sound of shattering glass. Then a voice that Jenna knew to be Milo's cried out in horror, "_MARCIA!_"

With that cry, time sped back up again. Jenna and Beetle bolted to the spot where they'd seen the purple flash disappear from sight and kneeled down to look. But apart from a few stray stones clattering into the water below, there was no sign of the ExtraOrdinary Wizard.

There was the sound of quick footsteps behind, and Milo joined Jenna. "Where is she? Did she come back up?" he asked frantically.

"Calm down, Milo! Breathe," Jenna told him, putting her hands on his shoulders consolingly. "Marcia isn't the ExtraOrdinary Wizard for nothing. She'll resurface soon."

By now the rest of the group had arrived. "Are you sure, Your Majesty?" Miarr asked, wringing his hands. "Madam Marcia seemed to go unconscious just before she fell."

"She'll be alright," Jenna said again. "All we can do is watch and wait."

And so that's what everyone did. Watch and wait.

* * *

Nearly forty feet below the surface of the water, Marcia came to. Her eyes widened in shock as all that Xulifer Sett had done hit her full-force: not only was she stuck deep in the ocean, but both her physical and **Magykal** strength were at an all-time low, and Marcia knew that her mental strength would follow suit. _He was out to get me this whole time,_ she thought grimly. _Well, I won't let him have that satisfaction!_ Resolved, Marcia kicked as hard as she could, and slowly, despite the sharp and uncomfortable twinges shooting up and down her damaged spine, she began to make her way upwards.

She hadn't gone more than five feet before Marcia realized she needed to take a breath, having had no chance to get one when she was unconscious. Aware that she was using up her last ounce of **Magyk**, Marcia **Summoned** an air bubble and breathed it in, rather uncomfortably as her chest constricted in pain._ That's better,_ she thought, resuming her swim.

But as Marcia's **Magyk** was now gone, so her sanity soon failed. While making her way through the murky gloom, Marcia began to hallucinate. She imagined will-o'-the-wisps leading her off to the side, away from the surface, and Marcia started to follow them before she remembered where she should be going. Another time, Marcia thought she saw a shark charging at her, and frantically swam down several feet before the shark dissipated. Once, she even visualized her own parents clinging to her purple python shoes, trying to drag her down into the depths. Still, Marcia pushed on.

* * *

Meanwhile, Milo was becoming increasingly distraught. He paced back and forth above the spot where Marcia had fallen in, restlessly waiting for her return. But after ten minutes passed and the ExtraOrdinary Wizard hadn't returned, Milo suddenly announced, "It's been too long. I'm going to go find her."

Jenna's eyes widened. "Milo, you can't! It's too dark down there, you won't be able to see a thing! What if..." she swallowed hard, "what if we lose you, too?"

Milo patted her on the head affectionately. "If it's not safe for me, then it isn't for Marcia, either. Don't worry, I'm a strong swimmer." He began to shrug off his vest.

"There may be another way," said Lucy. "Miarr, is there a Tube at this lighthouse?"

Miarr shook his head. "There is the _Yellow Tube_, ma'am, but it would take too long to start up. Milo would be faster."

"Wait, I've got an idea," suggested Beetle, turning to Nicko. "Do we have any spare lengths of rope?"

Nicko snapped his fingers. "Beetle, that's brilliant! I'll be right back!" With that Nicko dashed over to the_ Cerys_ and called up, "Oi! We need the longest length of rope you got! Someone toss it down!"

There were sounds of muffled thumps as the crew scurried around the ship, looking for the spare rope. (Milo had ordered the crew to remain on the_ Cerys_ to keep watch, ever paranoid after the encounter with Skipper Fry.) After a few moments, the eight-year-old Ship's Boy poked his head over the side and held up a bulky-looking coil of rope. "Here ya go, Nik!" he shouted happily, tossing it over the side.

Nicko caught it one-handed. "Thank you, mate!" Then he hurried back to Milo and held it up. "Here, tie this around your waist. If you need us to pull you back up, tug on it three times."

Milo did as he was told. "Smart thinking, Mr. Beetle," he complimented.

Beetle blushed slightly, even more so when Jenna gave him a grateful peck on the cheek.

"There!" said Milo as he secured the knot. "Wish me luck," he added over his shoulder as he made his way down the rocky base.

"Be careful!" Jenna called worriedly.

Milo nodded, and with a flash of his trademark smile, he dove into the waves and disappeared.

* * *

_Come on, girl,_ Marcia tried to encourage herself. _Just a little bit farther. Surely you're getting close._

But at that moment, what little stamina she had left gave out completely as her crippled spine finally snapped. Marcia cried out in pain, and a stream of bubbles escaped her mouth, taking with them the last of her breath. Paralyzed, Marcia floated limply in the water, slowly sinking again as a result of her waterlogged cloak.

Yet, as usual, Marcia could still think clearly enough to be annoyed with herself. _I've survived Dungeon Number One, the _**Necromancer**_ DomDaniel, hundreds of warrior jinnee, a _**Darke Domain**_, and the _**Darke**_ wizards of the Two-Faced Ring, only to die by drowning! Hardly a fitting end, all things considered._

Marcia sighed inwardly._ Well, if that's the way of it..._and she closed her eyes in resignation.

* * *

From his **Watching** place, Xulifer Sett smiled in satisfaction. The hallucinations he had** Engendered** earlier had done their job, delaying the ExtraOrdinary Wizard long enough that she was now unable to reach the surface. "Justice is served," he said softly to himself. His mission accomplished, Xulifer hastily turned to leave, thrilled to tell Master of his success.

* * *

But it was then that Milo Banda spotted her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Milo blinked, unable to believe what he was seeing for the briefest of moments. He knew he wasn't able to hold his breath for much longer, and had just been about to resurface and try again when a glint of light had caught his eye, piercing through the murky gloom like a beacon. That gleam had come from the Akhu Amulet, still tightly secured around his lover's neck.

Once he had gotten over his initial shock, Milo sprang into action. With a powerful kick he shot through the water, as Simon's horse Thunder might've galloped through the Badlands had Jenna fed him the entire Chocolate Door in Flyte. Ecstatic, Milo yelled out, "MARCIA!" (although what really came out was something along the lines of, "Bluh-REE-eurgh!") To his delight Milo saw Marcia's green eyes flutter open, and he quickly closed the gap.

* * *

_It's a...hallucination...it has to be,_ Marcia thought hazily. But she was beyond caring by this point. Moving as if she were in a dream (or suspended under fifteen feet of water, which she was), Marcia stretched out her left arm—her only limb that wasn't paralyzed—to touch it.

"It" grabbed Marcia's arm in an excited, vise-like grip, sending her broken spine into yet another jarring agony. _Nope, definitely real,_ was Marcia's last thought before losing consciousness once more.

* * *

Back up top, Nicko and Beetle felt the rope jerk three times. "Here he comes!" Nicko exclaimed. "Quick, everyone, _pull!_"

Jenna, Simon, Lucy, Marcellus, and the Catts hurried over to help. Everybody grabbed the rope and began to pull on it, anxious to see if Milo had succeeded—or failed, though no one wanted to think about that.

Fortunately, Simon put everyone's minds at ease when he said between grunts, "I can—mmph—sense Milo's—ugh—**Presence**, and—" he gasped in surprise, "—Marcia's, too! She's barely alive—whew!—but there."

"Let's all hurry, then!" Nicko called back from the front. "Put your—oof—backs into it!"

They huffed and puffed and pulled, until suddenly the rope went slack. "What the...?" Nicko looked up—and let out a whoop of joy. Silhouetted in the moonlight, Milo had broken the surface and was bobbing no more than ten feet away in the water, clutching the unconscious ExtraOrdinary Wizard tightly to his chest. Cheering, the group hauled the dripping couple up onto the rocks. Jenna immediately ran over and threw her arms around her father, heedless of his soaked clothing—and of Marcia.

"Careful!" Milo cautioned. "I think the fall snapped her spine." Gently he eased Marcia down onto the rocks and brushed the stringy, wet curls away from her face.

The others crowded around to look. "Ooh, she's out cold," Beetle commented worriedly. "That must've been some fall to take her down."

Simon looked doubtful. "I'm not so sure about that," he speculated. "I don't think the fall alone could've gotten to her. I mean, she still should've been able to use her **Magyk**. Something **Darke** was at work here."

"Can we please discuss this later?" Milo cut in, clearly antsy. "If Marcia isn't responding, we'll have to do chest compressions or something."

"Wait," said Simon. "Let me examine her injuries first." He knelt down and **Searched** for any broken bones, once again thankful that he could still use his **Magyk** equally as well as his **Physik**. After a moment he stood up again. "Milo was right about her spine, but her sternum is also shattered, so that rules out chest compressions. Maybe I can **Revive** her with a—"

"Look!" cried Beetle suddenly. "I think she's waking up!"

Sure enough, Marcia's shoulders spasmed once, then she began coughing up seawater. Simon and Marcellus carefully rolled Marcia on her side, allowing her to spit the water out without choking. She inhaled sharply for several seconds, trying to catch her breath. Milo noticed that she was clutching her chest, her face contorted in pain, and remembered what Simon had said earlier. He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Marcia! Marcia, you're safe. Listen to me, Marcia, just calm down. It's alright."

Slowly Marcia stopped hyperventilating. Propping herself up on her good elbow, she gazed up at Milo with a distant look in her eyes. "Sett," she managed to croak. "Xulifer Sett—he did this." Marcia collapsed backward.

Simon clenched his fists. "I _knew_ it! I knew there was something odd about that b—"

"Simon!" Lucy cut him off; like Marcia, she too disapproved of swearing.

But for once he didn't pay her any attention. Whirling to face the lighthouse, Simon declared, "He can't have gone far. There's nowhere to hide—"

This time he was interrupted by two shocked yowls, coming from inside the lighthouse. Miarr and Miaow bolted out of the door, where they had slipped in unnoticed earlier. Both looked very pale.

"The _Yellow Tube_!" Miarr and Miaow moaned. "He's taken the _Yellow Tube_!"

"Show me," said Lucy, rushing to the entrance and ducking inside. Everyone else, except for Marcia and Milo, followed. The Catts led them inside and indicated the open door to the room where the _Yellow Tube_ was kept. But there was no Tube in sight.

"Sett must've taken it," Simon muttered. "That slippery little eel!"

"Slippery is right," added Jenna. "I'll bet he slipped away while you guys were coming down." No one noticed her pun, not even Jenna herself.

Marcellus sighed and shook his head. "Xulifer Sett certainly fooled us all. But I'm afraid that right now we have more pressing matters on hand." He motioned outside to where the figures of Marcia and Milo were crouched on the ground. "We need to get Marcia back on the _Cerys_, and do something about her injuries. Then in the morning we will have to deal with the remains of the Rounded Mirror."

"Good call," agreed Beetle. "Let's all go help Milo."

* * *

When Marcia awoke hours later, she found herself back in her cabin on the _Cerys_, lying in her quaint little bed, shafts of morning light shining through the lone porthole. The throbbing agony in her chest and back had subsided considerably since the night before, and Marcia found that she could feel her feet and wiggle her toes again. Relieved that her paralysis was gone, Marcia glanced down and saw that her purple cloak and tunic had been taken, and she was now dressed in her white cotton nightgown. _Oh, dear. I hope that was Jenna or Lucy._ But as she ran a hand over the vertical stitch line between her breasts, the unsettling thought occurred to her that both of the ship's **Physik** people were male. _Then again, maybe not,_ she realized with a grimace. _Oh, come now, Marcia. A life-or-death situation is no time to be choosy, you know that._ And Marcia _was_ immensely grateful for the help of her friends, without whom she surely would have drowned. Nonetheless, a somewhat petulant sigh escaped her lips.

There was a polite knock at her door. "Come in," she called hoarsely, sitting up.

The door opened to reveal a rather rumpled-looking Milo Banda, the darkness under his eyes and his unkempt hair and clothing not escaping Marcia's notice. Beside him stood the bright-eyed Ship's Boy, who was holding a small breakfast tray.

Marcia managed a smile. "Well, don't just stand there. I said come on in!"

The little boy didn't need to be told thrice. He skipped over to her bedside, nearly sloshing the contents of the coffee mug in the process, and plopped the tray down on her lap (the boy received a pat on the head for his efforts, much to his delight). Milo shuffled in behind him and asked, "How are you feeling?"

The ExtraOrdinary Wizard thought for a moment. "Like I was dropped off the top of a lighthouse onto a pile of rocks, then forced to swim down and up forty feet. I've been better."

Milo nodded. "That does sound brutal." Looking a little uncertain, he glanced at the bed. "Do you mind?"

Marcia looked puzzled, then after a moment she caught on. "Oh, no, go ahead," she insisted, scooting over and patting the mattress. "Please, sit down."

Milo complied. No one spoke for an awkward moment, until the Ship's Boy decided to rekindle the conversation with, "That scary man almost kerneled you, didn't he?"

Both of the adults stared at him in bewilderment. "Er, I beg your pardon?" Marcia asked.

"You know, like corn kernels!" the boy explained, as if this should be obvious. But when he was still met with blank looks, the little boy knew that he needed to elaborate. "Like when you hold dry corn kernels over a chimney fire, and they go—POP! POP! P-P-POP-_POP!_" With every "pop" the boy took a giant leap across the cabin, waving his arms as if demonstrating several explosions. Finally the hyperactive youngster returned to Marcia's bedside and added, slightly out of breath, "So, you almost got kerneled!"

Marcia chuckled. "Thank you for enlightening me," she told the little boy, who beamed happily. Then Marcia turned back to Milo. "He's right, you know. Xulifer Sett did almost 'kernel' me, so to speak. But I haven't the faintest idea why." She sighed. "If only I might've recognized him for what he was sooner, a lot of trouble would've been spared."

Milo clasped her hand reassuringly. "Mr. Sett fooled us all, Marcia. I'll admit, that young man is a thorough planner. He knew how hard you'd work on the repairs, and that your exhaustion and seasickness would wear you down. It would've been a miracle if you had recognized the **Darke** Wizard at all, let alone dealt with him."

"Yes, you're right," Marcia admitted. She turned to meet his gaze, dreading the answer to her next question. "Sett didn't cause any other damage, did he?"

"Well..." Milo hesitated. "I'm afraid he did. When I realized that you had fallen from your harness, I dropped my end of the Rounded Mirror. Needless to say, the entire Mirror smashed."

"Oh, no! And after all of Marcellus's hard work! What else?"

"Mr. Sett also stole the lighthouse's _Yellow Tube_ to escape, so he's now at large."

Marcia nodded grimly. "I'll make sure to notify the Ordinary Wizards once I get back to the Wizard Tower. Xulifer Sett will try again when he learns that he has failed, and we'll be ready." She sat up a little straighter. "But in the meantime, I know a **Repair Spell** that would mend the Rounded Mirror—"

"Not so fast!" Milo interrupted. "Marcellus specifically instructed me to make sure that you didn't leave your bed for the next twenty-four hours." He held up a hand as Marcia started to protest. "I know, I know, but he knows **Physik** the best. Besides, Simon also knows a **Repair Spell**, and he's been making good progress so far."

"You aren't questioning my **Magykal** power as ExtraOrdinary Wizard, are you?" Marcia accused.

"No, no, of course not! But it wouldn't do anyone any good if your injuries didn't heal properly."

Marcia huffed and sank back down onto her pillow. "Yes, I know, Milo. And frankly, right now I probably _don't_ have enough **Magyk** to do a **Spell** that big. I suppose..." she stopped. This was one of her innermost secrets, and Marcia was reluctant to share it. Finally Marcia blurted out, "I just hate to be so helpless! And—in the way." She faltered, her bright green eyes misty.

For a moment, Milo was at a loss for words. He knew that this was a serious matter for Marcia, one of her deepest fears. After a long pause he slid off the bed and crouched on the floor, so he was now at eye level with her.

"Marcia. You saved my dear Jenna's life countless times. You destroyed DomDaniel not once, but twice. You managed to get rid of an entire **Darke Domain**, and you single-handedly stopped the two most powerful **Darke** Wizards of all time. And only just last night, you were persistent enough to stop yourself from drowning. Marcia, you are the ExtraOrdinary Wizard for a very good reason. You will never, ever be useless to anyone. Believe me, you have proven that over and over. And that's—" his voice caught in his throat, "well, that's what I love about you."

Marcia was astonished. _Wow. Does he really mean all of that?_ Suddenly, before she could stop herself, Marcia found herself leaning over and gently kissing Milo's cheek. "Thank you," she whispered breathlessly, "for everything."

Positively delighted, Milo opened his mouth to reply, but then he saw Marcia tense slightly as she saw something over his shoulder. "Oops," she muttered. "Milo, I think we forgot someone."

Milo turned to look, and was met with the flabbergasted gaze of the Ship's Boy. The youngster's jaw hung almost down to the collar, and his eyes were as round as marble shooters. Pointing a finger, the boy exclaimed shrilly, "You got kissed by the ExtraOrdinary Wizard! Wait'll the crew hears about _this!_" And he skipped out of the room and down the corridor, chanting, "Milo and Marcia, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

Both Marcia and Milo stared after him, mouths gaping. Then Marcia broke the silence with, "Er, Milo? I don't know about you, but I think we just got kerneled."

"Yeah," Milo agreed. "Definitely."

**A/N Hey guys, hope you enjoyed that! I currently have no plans for a sequel to this story, so if anyone can come up with some ideas on the revenge of Xulifer Sett and Master, don't be afraid to let me know in the reviews!**


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